Gentlemen...

I arrived on a cold October night in 1977 in Geneva embarking on my new life in an intentional community with and for people with special needs.  The car ride from the train station to the community was rocky and scary- the driver, as I found out later was bordering on being a person with special needs himself.
It was late when I entered the house I was now going to live in.  I was given a drink and shown to my room.  The next morning I was expected to help make breakfast for the house hold at 6.45am.

I was nervous when I opened the door to the kitchen but as soon as I entered, warmth and curiosity streamed my way.  I saw three tall grown men in blues jeans.  I thought that was so cool!  Each one of them was doing something towards breakfast.  They smiled at me and all three of them said “Bonjour Claudia”.  Since I was told to help with  breakfast, I tried.  Alain was cutting bread and I asked if I could help.  He had it covered.  I asked Jean if I could carry the granola to the table.  It was not necessary.  Lastly Philip who stood by the coffee maker smiled at me and said coffee would be ready in a minute.  Not only was I asking myself what on earth I was going to be doing here, but in addition, these three wonderful people were charming, polite and heart educated gentlemen.  I actually felt like I had come to a party, not to a household of adults with special needs having ordinary breakfast on Monday morning.

Alain, Jean and Philip were my first teachers in expanding my capacity to respond to people’s special needs.
Alain was from Geneva and spoke little, had some developmental delays and loved deeply.  Years later his girlfriend moved in as well and they were a happy couple including all the ups and downs a long term relationship brings.  I learned from him never to underestimate anyone.
Jean was French, well read and intelligent, as he came from an academic family.  He had some autistic traits and had his “feelers” out everywhere.  He taught me a much higher awareness of what is going on around me, anticipating disturbances and how to control the environment so he could relax. He had an unending capacity to forgive and an unquenchable wish to be of service.  Always, always, always he was friendly and polite.
And Philip, with whom I am in correspondence to this day, was indeed an elegant gentleman who smoked a pipe and enjoyed toy vehicles, along with the finest of classical music!  Philip came from a German family with many siblings and was born with cerebral palsy.

A few weeks after my arrival we were all going to a performance in the community hall.  Philip said to me that he would go earlier and reserve a seat for me next to him.  When I came to the hall I saw him sitting in the middle of the audience waving at me.  Being uncomfortable myself to be squeezed into the middle of a row, I told him I would go sit somewhere else.  A few minutes later I looked over to him and saw him cry.  To this day I am ashamed that I did not recognize how much it meant to him that I would sit next to him.  In his mind I was his date for the night.  My own comfort had been more in the foreground, not realizing his wish and joy in that moment.  This experience went deep into my bones and was an important lesson for me.

We lived and worked together for many years and the fabric that weaves from soul to soul in a close communitarian life is indestructible.
Alain, Jean and Philip were excellent weavers.  And when it had become clear that I would leave the community to join Clemens and get married, they gave me a touching and unforgettable gift!  They wove me the most beautiful, peach blossom colored silk fabric with which to make a wedding shirt for Clemens and wedding dress for me.  We were clothed in the love and energy of some of my first true teachers in the school of life, my friends and brothers.  The union of life we wished to form was blessed by their talent and generosity!

~Claudia