Musings about friendship

A true friend backs you up come what may and also will be honest with you, no matter what.  “Friendship is my favorite therapy” somebody said and I love that expression.  My friends and I experience that frequently: we talk about everything and help each other understand the mystery of our lives.  In conversation unexpected wisdom and inspiration can drop in.  The bond of friendship and the tapestry of words and thoughts exchanged, invite this element of being able to see a new aspect, laugh away or sort out any ‘mishap’, or recognize that it’s time to move on from a rigid or unhealthy place.
In friendship we are allowed to see clearer who the other one is, because we don’t need to uphold the masks, roles and protective mechanisms.  Trust grows and we begin to love and support each other.  The word “friend” comes from a root that means “to love”.
It always amazes me how different chords of my soul come alive in the presence of different friends. Underneath though lies unconditional faithfulness in all of them. 

In a mediation retreat a few years ago, I learned that Buddha said “friendship is the spiritual path”. 

Maybe one could say that the most immediate and multi facetted connection to spirit is to another human being. 
Any connection to spirit, be it animal, plant, earth, sun, moon, the stars or the rainbow, needs to be cared for and renewed continuously.  By simply being in awe of any of these relationships, we deepen and renew them.  This becomes an unending discovery of the forces that lie behind these phenomena filling us with wonder and reverence. 

In friendship for example we want to be awake to each other and notice soul developments and steps of growth in the other.  We want to celebrate the accomplishments and progress and be there when we hit rock bottom.  This growing inner landscape between two friends is precious and one feels protective of it.

Some of my family relationships also have an aspect of friendship.  I remember my mother saying to me, when I was a teenager, that she would like to be friends with me.  It didn’t make sense to me then, but much later in our relationship journey, when we are able at times to leave behind the mother-daughter relationship, then we indeed share like friends.

Our relationships are a considerable support to us.  In a few days my oldest friend will come and visit me.  We became friends in Brussels as we both attended L’école européenne.  At the time she picked me.  I was overweight, unpopular, shy, different than everyone else and depressed most of the time.  For some reason she decided that she wanted to get to know me which changed my life and made for many happy and good times.
    It is interesting to remember how a friendship began.  Sometimes the beginning reveals a lot!
I am so grateful for my friends.
Are you finding nourishment in your relationships?
~Claudia